"Did you like it?" = "I hope you liked the threesome because I want to do it".
I can discuss it with her, but I certainly won't do so until after she has gotten back from the trip, and after I've confirmed that everything is okay and I was over reacting..
It doesn't matter if you meet from OLD or "real" life. It's a numbers game. You are going to have way more that don't "click" than do no matter what. The people who want penpals and/or are flaking are probably of the same mindset you're in now. They haven't clicked with any or many and are kinda sick of the process but bored, so they message anyway and are skeptical, so they don't plan or stick to a meet up, etc. What they are doing really is limiting their dating "pool" even further..