i don't think anyone can answer these questions for you. to be honest, as a guy, i feel pretty bad for that dude. imagine a guy you were dating secretly had no intentions of ever staying with you long-term but was with you to pass the time until he had more time to get out there and look for a better mate. you say "lots of guys do this, so surely it isn't that bad" well i don't see how what other people do, has anything to do with your morals and values. right now you're no better than any of those guys. as long as your content and happy with that, then carry on..